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How many times have you found yourself wanting to do something but back away from it because you don’t feel like you can do it? You could physically do it, but unless someone chooses you to do it, you feel as if you’re not enough. Why do we do this? We sabotage our results because we won’t try for anything that seems too big for us. I believe this is one of those pre-conditioned responses I’ve previously discussed. 

 Think back to high school PE class. The teacher has just labeled to children as team captains. Each child turns to the crowd of students and picks one child to go on their team. This process continues back and forth until all of the children are picked. Actually, that’s not exactly true. All the children were chosen except for the last child, who was tolerated.

Now, you might have been highly athletic, and you were always picked first. Kudos to you. 98% of us were in the middle of the crowd. You were happy because at least you weren’t the last kid. For the last 1%, I am sorry you were not picked in PE class. 

We are adults now, so why are we still functioning under this childhood conditioning?

 In college, we are taught that our grades make us good students or bad students. Again, we are labeled by our performance and not our potential. These examples are two among a thousand. We are conditioned as a society to look externally for our value. Unfortunately, nothing external can give you value. Your value comes from within.

 Sometimes we seek our value from other broken people. Why are we asking broken, unvalidated people for validation? What gives them the right to validate you anyway? 

Our behavior, performance, skin color, finances, and relationships do not give us value. Nor do they devalue you in any way. Too many arguments are fought on this premise of validation, or the lack thereof. You are valuable just because you are a human being. You were designed for a purpose, and I believe that purpose is to help humankind. How many great scientists have we lost throughout history because we didn’t teach them to find value in themselves? How many Einsteins have disappeared from our world, never achieving their goals because no one picked them?

Those who step above and succeed where no one else could are the type of people that know their value comes from within. They don’t wait for a permission slip from the universe to go after their goals. I talked about this in a video recently, and I created a universal permission slip, but you can find it on my website if you choose to have one. You don’t need permission to go on this field trip of life. You just need to go. Have fun. Be awesome. Make a difference. That’s what you’re called to do. You are not called to sit back and wait for someone else to pick you.

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What is a Conditioned Emotional Response?

It is a reaction-type response to a trigger that comes from conditioning over time. The problem is that some of the C.E.R.’s aren’t your own. They weren’t a response that you chose. Instead, they were programmed into you by those around you at a young age or those around you now. Let me give you a humorous example. Zig Ziglar told this story in one of his many motivational speeches.

A young married woman cooked ham for her new husband. When she sat it on the table, he noticed that the end of the ham had been cut off. He asks her why. She shrugged and said, “that’s how my mother always made the ham. She makes the best ham in the world.”

 Later, the woman called her mother and asked her why she always cut the end of the ham off. Does it make it taste better? she asks. 

“No,” replied the mother. Your grandmother always cuts the end of the ham off, and she makes the best ham in the world!”

 So later, the granddaughter calls her grandma. “Why do you cut off the ham?” she asks. “Does it make it taste better?”

 “No,” laughed grandma. “My Pan was just too small.”

Now, This may be a silly example of a conditioned response. It was programmed into two generations, all because of a pan and its size. How many things have you picked up from your parents, friends, and the society around you? How often do you respond automatically to something and then wonder about it later?

Many things are programmed into us without our approval, knowledge, or understanding. I know some people with a victim’s mentality would say, “well, it’s not my fault.” No, it isn’t. But it is your responsibility. It’s up to you to decide if you agree or disagree with the response. If you do not, and if you’re C.E.R. does not serve you, it is up to you to change it. You have the power to do it! 

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Monday Motivational Video:

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#selfhelp #selflove #selfcare #mentalhealth #motivation #love #inspiration #mindfulness #personaldevelopment #selfimprovement #personalgrowth #healing #mindset #lifecoach #anxiety #selfdevelopment #quotes #meditation #positivity #success #mentalhealthawareness #spirituality #loveyourself #motivationalquotes #happiness #psychology #selfhelpbooks #life #selfawareness #positivevibes #habits

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