Have you ever seen a circus elephant tied to a tint peg or a horse held back by a tiny wire fence? These are great examples of learned helplessness. At one point in time when those animals were young, they could not break free from their constraints. Now that they are older and stronger, they could break free anytime they choose. Unfortunately, they have been held back for so long they won’t try anymore. Are you suffering from learned helplessness?
You are more capable than you realize!
Are you living your life just reacting to what comes at you or are you in charge and living your life on purpose? Did you realize you can design your life? Are you barely surviving or are you thriving?
It’s time to stand up and live proactively. Stop waiting for the next hit from life. Stand up and hit back. Step out and make a choice to live proactively.
It’s time to get up off of that pity party and remember who you are. You have seeds of greatness in you if you throw off the helpless mindset.
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Sacrifice tends to have a negative slant, but we’ve had it all wrong. We must let go of some things to achieve greater things. Today Synova talks about the Universal Law of Sacrifice.
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We waste our life by focusing on everything except for the present moment. Too many people focus on the past. There are two ways to focus on the past. One is rumination, and the other one is introspection.
Rumination: There are two definitions for this word. I find the second one interesting.
1. a negative way to dwell on the past
2. a cow chewing cud
Introspection:
1. a positive look at the events of the past
2. searching the past for lessons
How many times do we focus on past mistakes for too long? We are just like that cow chewing the cud over and over again. I just saw a meme that says we need to focus on the past to succeed. That’s all it said. I say absolutely not! Don’t focus on the past to the extent that you lose the present and the future. Sure, we can look at the past and learn lessons from it, but ruminating on it will destroy the present and the future.
On the other hand, some people dwell on the future so much that they forget the present. They focus on their goals, wishes, and dreams until they cause anxiety and stress. Some people worry about tomorrow so much that they ruin today. Then when tomorrow gets here, they find out it wasn’t so bad after all. So what good did it do to worry? You just destroyed two days for nothing. That’s two days of your life you will never get back.
What can you do now to get closer to your goals? What can you do now to get healthy? What can you do now to fix your relationships? What can you do now to help with your finances? What can you do now? Focus on now.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. You hear it everywhere during the holiday season, but not everyone agrees. It can be one of the most challenging times of the year if you’ve lost loved ones or suffered trauma.
Change Your Idea of the Perfect Holiday:
Many silently suffer through the end of the year, dreading every party, event, and gathering. Why? It all starts with the mental picture we have of Christmas. We are inundated with a picturesque story of what the holiday “should” be. We suffer when our picture doesn’t match what we think is perfection. Unfortunately, no one tells us that we can change the picture.
Will changing the mental picture bring back our loved ones? No. Will it change our financial status? No. It will change your outlook on life, though. It will change your biochemistry and make you feel better. It will make the holidays seem brighter and more friendly.
Change of Focus:
What you focus on, you feel. When we focus on the negative, we get more negative hormones, negative emotions, and negative behaviors. The same is true when we force ourselves to focus on the positive things. There are 1,440 minutes in a day. Ten minutes might be bad, but there are another 1,430 minutes left. Will you ruin the rest of the day by focusing on the ten bad moments? It sounds silly, but we do it all the time.
This holiday season, turn your focus to the positive and see what happens. Every time that annoying co-worker spews at the mouth turn your focus to something else. Every time that manipulative family member starts, turn your focus. It’s not easy, but it’s effective.
Transform your chaotic holiday season with this journal and 5 minutes a day!
Not everyone enjoys the holidays. After losing loved ones, it’s hard to continue with the festivities, but it’s vital to learn how to live again. After suffering through trauma, it’s hard to celebrate with a loud and rowdy crowd. Did you know a daily gratitude practice will change your life, both mind, and body?
Studies have proven that our brains literally cannot be fearful, anxious, or stressed and be grateful at the same time. Did you know that? The part of the brain that handles these emotions cannot do both simultaneously. It has to shut one off to open the other. Now you can be anxious and immediately grateful afterward, but you cannot be both at the same time!
What if you reprogrammed your brain to refocus on gratitude and shut off the anxiety during this season?
With a daily gratitude practice, you will do just that!
During my desperate studies trying to find solutions to my daily problems, I stumbled across the legend of the Gordian Knot.
The year was 333 B.C., and Alexander the Great was plowing through the countryside, conquering everything in his path. He came upon the capital city of Gordium in what is now Turkey. Tied to the city’s gates was a wagon that once belonged to King Gordius, the father of the famous King Midas. The knot was rumored to be impossible to untie. The knots wove in and out and back upon itself, and no one could ever find the end to start the unraveling process. Supposedly, an oracle had prophesied over the knot.
“The man who loosens this knot will rule all of Asia.”
Centuries later, these words would appeal to an ambitious young warrior named Alexander. When his armies marched upon the city, Alexander was compelled to try his hand at the fabled knot. In his pomp and testosterone-fueled arrogance, he tore at the problem with all his might until he burnt out. Then in a moment of wisdom, he stepped back and began to look at the situation objectively. Inspiration hit the young man, and he withdrew his sword. With one quick swipe of the blade, the impossible knot was opened.
What happened to Alexander during this ordeal? One might say he cheated, but in reality, the prophecy never said how the knot was to be loosened. Sometimes we overcomplicate things in our emotional state. If we can step back and view the problem objectively, a solution will often come to us.
As long as Alex thought the problem was impossible, he was unsuccessful. The moment he realized there was a simple solution, he sliced open the Gordian Knot. What does this mean for us? Simply put, if you think there’s no answer, no answers will come. Once you decide that there’s an answer, you will start to look at the problem differently, and a solution will come. It all goes back to the story you tell yourself in that little head of yours.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.” – Henry Ford
With all the chaos in the news, why add another negative email to your inbox? Let’s fill inboxes around the world with positive, hopeful, and inspirational content.
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The word focus is thrown around a lot these days, but few pay attention. In reality, focusing is our superpower. Bruce Lee once said,
“The Successful warrior is an average man with a laser-like focus.”
When a human focuses completely on a goal, very little can stop him from achieving it. Unfortunately, there are so many distractions nowadays that it’s becoming increasingly harder to focus. To make matters worse, many of those distractions are negative. The more we focus on negative news, the more increases we see in depression and anxiety.
People don’t realize that we feel in our bodies what we have focused on with our minds. I’ve been answering questions on Quora lately, many of which have to do with this subject. People wonder why they are depressed, but everything they watch on TV and on social media is depressing.
Another trap we find ourselves in is the trap of focusing on the things we can’t control. While the world news is important, we can’t do anything about it, so why are we spending all of our time focusing on it and stressing about it? I know that might sound harsh, but really think about it. Can you do anything about the things you see on the TV nightly? No, not really. At least a few years ago, we had one segment of world news at night, but now with the internet, we are swamped with the world’s stress and drama.
Humans need to focus more on our inner circle of influence and things we can control. No, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care about humanity’s troubles, but we shouldn’t focus on them so much that it causes us more stress. We are literally trying to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders and it’s not humanly possible!
One final trap we find ourselves dealing with is the trap of focusing on what we don’t want. When we focus on something, we give it more energy. Meaning if you are focusing on the worst-case scenario, then you will get the worst-case scenario. You see, we reap what we sow when it comes to our thoughts. I hate the old adage, “prepare for the worst and hope for the best.” When you do that, you are literally asking the Universe for the worst. We must learn to visualize the outcome we want and focus on that. Sure preparation is essential, but not to excess.
With all the chaos in the news, why add another negative email to your inbox? Let’s fill inboxes around the world with positive, hopeful, and inspirational content.
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Life Has A New Chapter for You, But You Have to Turn the Page
Life has been chaotic, but now it’s a new season and chapter in our lives. Sometimes we hesitate to turn the page even if the last chapter was stressful. Why do we do this?
Why is it so hard to let go of something we didn’t enjoy? My research has shown that burnout literally changes our brain’s structure. The amygdala enlarges the prefrontal cortex thins. The Prefrontal Cortex controls your memory and your decision-making skills. The amygdala controls your brain’s fear centers. When you’ve been in a state of chaos, stress, and burnout for a long time, the structure of your brain deteriorates. It’s hard for you to make decisions and to remember things. On the flip side, the amygdala enlarges and over-processes fear stimuli. Although our brain structure changes with prolonged stress, that is only one factor. Sometimes we can’t let go of the past because we feel justified in being angry about what happened. Other times we get stuck in the bottomless pit of what if. And sometimes, the unknown of starting a new chapter in our lives can be a little unsettling. Even though the past was uncomfortable, we still know how to handle it. The unknown can be intimidating. When we move into a new chapter, we must remember to leave the past in the past. Do not drag all of the pain and drama from the past into the next chapter. Sometimes we destroy our pleasant future with the pains of the past.
Whenever you find the clouds parting and the sun starting to shine through in the chaos of life, take a moment to let go of the past and step into the bright new future.
Please check out my affiliate links in this article. Any purchase you make using my links will help support Synova Ink Publishing. With your support, I will continue producing high-quality free content for more people like you. Thank you in advance!
I hate it when I put my heart and soul into clients, and they don’t follow through. As a new coach, this really hurt me, and I always thought there was something wrong. Maybe something was missing in my coaching program. So I would add more information. I would add more worksheets. I would add more tips and tricks. But over time, I realized the lack was not within me or my program. The lack was in the client. Something had stifled their ambition.
I have put so much into the Author Biz 101 course that I’ve had some people tell me there’s so much information it’s almost overwhelming. I know it’s not a lack in the course itself. So what could cause this?
That’s when I realized that ambition was a tricky character. While you’re all fired up with a new project, ambition comes easily. When life hits and other things come up, ambition starts to wane. That’s when I encourage my clients to look back at their purpose. Why did they want to write a book in the first place? Who did they want to touch with their writing?
I also found in some cases that the client was subconsciously sabotaging their own efforts. If it were a lack of self-esteem or a feeling of unworthiness, they would find things to self-sabotage their efforts. Then I started encouraging my clients to change their mindsets about what they deserve. If you feel called or led to write a book, I believe there’s a reason and a purpose for it. You are good enough. You are capable. And there are so many tools available. Writing a book has never been easier than it is right now.
I hate dealing with grammar Nazis and those with a limited mindset who discourage new writers from even starting. I had a new writer who was desperate for a critique. I gave him a good critique, but he wanted someone that was a little harsher, so I sent him to a grammar Nazi. I wish I hadn’t. This grammar Nazi put down his work, but he also told the new writer not to get published because there was no money in writing anymore. Unfortunately, this new writer was so insecure that he took this advice even against my own, and I have never heard from him since. It’s a terrible shame because it has been a long time since someone could move me with words as this man did. I only hope he will get the courage to step up and share his work with the world in the near future.
Dealing with people who do not know how to make money with their writing is one of the things I despise about author coaching. Thousands of indie authors make six figures a year or more with their writing. If I had to go back to traditional publishing, I would probably refuse because I make a hundred times more money publishing independently.
They’re still money to be made publishing traditionally, but quite frankly, it’s much easier and quicker to do it on your own. Unfortunately, this grammar Nazi didn’t know how to make money with his writing, and his limited mindset caused another writer to give up. I will never again send someone looking for a critique to a grammar Nazi. When I researched this man, he’s never published anything in his lifetime to make things even worse. He knew so much about grammar but nothing about making money.
What I love about Authur coaching:
I love it when I can inspire a writer to start a new book. I love the excitement. You can feel it in the air as they begin to talk about their new book. I love helping them form the thoughts of their imaginations and helping them bring them out to the world. I love to inspire and motivate and encourage.
I love the feeling I get when I watch a new writer publish their first book. It’s like watching your child receive an award at school. I’m thrilled to be a part of their journey. I enjoy signing their certificate when they complete my course. I love packaging up my golden ink pins to give away to my authors who complete this journey. Unfortunately, I don’t get to do that very often. So many people want to quit halfway through their book and never finish. That’s the part I hate.
So what’s the point? The point is I want to encourage you to finish the projects you start. When you finish a project, there’s a feeling of joy and satisfaction that comes across in a way that you can’t explain unless you complete your task. Writing a book can be hard, but it doesn’t have to be. I’m here to help, but you still have to finish.
What would you like to accomplish in your lifetime? Have you started on the journey only to be distracted by life? I encourage you to start again. Don’t quit. Follow through. You’ll never know how it feels until you finish it.
If you would like help with your book, check out my author coaching courses. I also have some one-on-one coaching options available through Patreon.
